Short update this week, because frankly- I didn’t do much! I was feeling quite tired from my psilocybin retreat on Sunday. Exhausted even. Until Friday, when I felt reborn and ready for the weekend! Buckle up, because this week’s ride is about to begin!
The first couple of days of the week I really didn’t do anything, except work obviously, and the gym, which has become my second home away from home. I was feeling so exhausted from the retreat on Sunday, that I couldn’t be bothered with any social interactions. I felt like a phone running on 1% battery all week, every attempt at socializing felt like a dangerous game of ‘will I crash or not?’ Relatable? Or am I the only one who feels like a wrung-out dishcloth after a retreat like this? I spent a lot of time with myself, mostly processing and trying to figure out what happened on Sunday. During the week, I slowly started to remember what I saw, felt, and experiences during my journey. I wrote it down in my physical journal, and started to put some of the pieces together. And honestly, it made sense!
One of the things that I remembered was feeling a massive pressure on the right side of my body. Next to that, ‘water’ was a central topic during my whole journey. It began with me picking a random card from a shaman card deck, with water on it. I also had to urinate a lot, and often (which was very annoying in the beginning). And, I felt most comfortable during my journey when I was positioned outside next to a pond with a little fountain and frogs. Oh, and the day before was my birthday and my star sign is Pisces. The journey had water written all over it, and when I did some research about the meaning of that, it can be placed in the context of an emotional cleansing. Most likely linked to a male figure in my life, hence the heavy pressure on the right side of my body, which is associated with masculine energy. Another memory was me visualizing that I was being ripped apart, which symbolizes a heavy internal conflict. Again, most likely linked to between holding on to something, and letting go. That’s also very relatable. In the end, looking back at the experience, I feel that I’ve gotten the confirmation that I’m on the right path of healing. There’s work to be done, obviously, but I’m doing it, and I’m moving forward. It gives me the confidence that it’s only going to get better now.
p.s. I’ve also asked ChatGPT to help me interpreted what I have experience during the retreat based on my memories that I’ve shared with it, and it presented me a lot of valuable insights. One of these beautiful insights is this one:
It sounds like water wasn’t just present in your experience—it was actively guiding you toward surrender, emotional release, and transformation. Maybe this journey was showing you that you don’t have to hold on so tightly anymore. Like water, you can let things flow, trust the natural process of healing, and know that even pain will eventually move through you, just like a current.
After reflecting on Sunday’s journey, on Thursday it was time for the weekly pub quiz. Besides the fact that the pub quiz has become a regular thing in Lagos nowadays, what also seems to have become a regular thing is us winning! We’ve won the tie-breaker question, for the third time! Winning means a round of free shots, shots, shots, shots… While I usually don’t drink alcohol, on these evenings I make an exception. A shot that I’ve gotten to like is the firebomb, a mix of tequila, whiskey and vodka. Although I swear there is cinnamon in there as well. Maybe it’s the whiskey.
Friday was all also about deep, meaningful self-reflection… Just kidding, I binged Drive to Survive on Netflix and battled orcs in World of Warcraft. On Saturday, my friend and I decided to go bowling in Portimão. Did my friend let me win? Maybe. But let’s just say I dominated like a true champion and leave it at that. We also played some table soccer and air hockey after, and I can’t help but be very competitive. No mercy. No survivors. Only victory. When we left the game hall, and decided to make a walk along the beach, we realized it was about to storm. The weather started to change, and it’s about to rain for the next couple of days…
Plot twist: I left sunny Portugal and landed in… shockingly sunnier Netherlands?! After arriving in The Netherlands, I had lunch with my best friend and her lovely child. I felt so happy seeing them again, and playing with him. I’ve also visited my former parents in law, and had dinner with my sister, her boyfriend and their kids at Noon in Maastricht. The sunset in Maastricht was beautiful, and dinner was great. Waking up at 2am in the morning to travel, and have a socially intensive day, was quite exhausting. So when I got to the house, that my sister very kindly offered me to stay at while I’m in The Netherlands, around 9pm, I already went to bed.
Next week is packed with lunch dates, dinner plans, and meetings. Future me is already crying, but present me is just here for the good food. I’m quite sure that on Friday I’ll be exhausted again, so when I fly back that day I won’t have any plans for the weekend other than chilling, enjoying the sun (yes, the weather gets better again on Friday!), and watch the F1 race in Melbourne.
